Society has convinced us that it’s perfectly normal for 20-somethings to work as baristas, live in shoebox-size apartments, struggle to pay rent, and date all the wrong people — all the while having the time of their lives. But psychologist Dr. Meg Jay says millennials have taken it too far, that this decade is not a time for indulgent self-exploration.

In her book, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter And How To Make The Most Of Them Now, Jay says that if you follow everyone else’s advice about “finding yourself,” you’ll waste your 20s and be a wreck by your 30s.  To read more, click here.